An email my sis sent me LOL

Five Minute Management Course for excelling in a company :D


Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.'


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'


Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.



Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the
turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...



Lesson 6


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

PULAU SEMAKAU LEARNING JOURNEY

It was real fun till the boring video came out!

Haha thanks 4C for making it real fun, im quite certain no other year 4 class could have given me such as enjoyable time :D

Especially the boat ride!!! It was the best part to and fro to the island. Still dunno why so weird, always 1 side of the boat very windy while the other side gt no wind sia! Enjoyed the photo taking sessions there hahaha!

Hope there will be another trip like that this year while we are still a class, although probably there wont be anymore :(

APRIL FOOLS DAY!

Today morning initially wanted to swap class with 4A for april fools haha but in the end dunno why we changed and swapped with 4E instead! Then after us and 4E swapped classes, suddenly almost every single yr 4 class started swapping!

Then soon 4A tchr, mr chng came 1st(we had a clear view frm upstairs). he started scolding the class inside LOL. then, at tht time we knew hw lucky we were to swap with 4E instead HAHA. But thn outside 4Es class gt other students making alot of noise, probably due to the fact tht they saw mr chng scolding someone thn very excited for dunno wat reason! So huang laoshi, who was supposed to enter 4E at tht time walked past the class instead to see what the commotion was about without even looking throough the class yet! Then she looked quite angry, so some of us quite scared later she scold lol! So it was quite funny la see huang laoshi walk past, thn dunno whether we shld go or not. In the end we decided to quietly sneak out of the class while she was still turned away.In the end she turned thn looked at the remaining of us who havent left the class yet LOL then all of us controlled out laughter LOL!

It was damn failed coz our plan was tht we were supposed to wish her happy april fools day but she wished us 1st instead! haiz hope nxt yr will succeed!

Later in maths lesson found out students frm dunno hw many years ago also do the exact same trick frm miss zeng, who was also an rvian! Wah realy, great minds think alike :D