Five Minute Management Course for excelling in a company :D
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the
turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
PULAU SEMAKAU LEARNING JOURNEY
It was real fun till the boring video came out!
Haha thanks 4C for making it real fun, im quite certain no other year 4 class could have given me such as enjoyable time :D
Especially the boat ride!!! It was the best part to and fro to the island. Still dunno why so weird, always 1 side of the boat very windy while the other side gt no wind sia! Enjoyed the photo taking sessions there hahaha!
Hope there will be another trip like that this year while we are still a class, although probably there wont be anymore :(
Haha thanks 4C for making it real fun, im quite certain no other year 4 class could have given me such as enjoyable time :D
Especially the boat ride!!! It was the best part to and fro to the island. Still dunno why so weird, always 1 side of the boat very windy while the other side gt no wind sia! Enjoyed the photo taking sessions there hahaha!
Hope there will be another trip like that this year while we are still a class, although probably there wont be anymore :(
Thursday, April 1, 2010
APRIL FOOLS DAY!
Today morning initially wanted to swap class with 4A for april fools haha but in the end dunno why we changed and swapped with 4E instead! Then after us and 4E swapped classes, suddenly almost every single yr 4 class started swapping!
Then soon 4A tchr, mr chng came 1st(we had a clear view frm upstairs). he started scolding the class inside LOL. then, at tht time we knew hw lucky we were to swap with 4E instead HAHA. But thn outside 4Es class gt other students making alot of noise, probably due to the fact tht they saw mr chng scolding someone thn very excited for dunno wat reason! So huang laoshi, who was supposed to enter 4E at tht time walked past the class instead to see what the commotion was about without even looking throough the class yet! Then she looked quite angry, so some of us quite scared later she scold lol! So it was quite funny la see huang laoshi walk past, thn dunno whether we shld go or not. In the end we decided to quietly sneak out of the class while she was still turned away.In the end she turned thn looked at the remaining of us who havent left the class yet LOL then all of us controlled out laughter LOL!
It was damn failed coz our plan was tht we were supposed to wish her happy april fools day but she wished us 1st instead! haiz hope nxt yr will succeed!
Later in maths lesson found out students frm dunno hw many years ago also do the exact same trick frm miss zeng, who was also an rvian! Wah realy, great minds think alike :D
Then soon 4A tchr, mr chng came 1st(we had a clear view frm upstairs). he started scolding the class inside LOL. then, at tht time we knew hw lucky we were to swap with 4E instead HAHA. But thn outside 4Es class gt other students making alot of noise, probably due to the fact tht they saw mr chng scolding someone thn very excited for dunno wat reason! So huang laoshi, who was supposed to enter 4E at tht time walked past the class instead to see what the commotion was about without even looking throough the class yet! Then she looked quite angry, so some of us quite scared later she scold lol! So it was quite funny la see huang laoshi walk past, thn dunno whether we shld go or not. In the end we decided to quietly sneak out of the class while she was still turned away.In the end she turned thn looked at the remaining of us who havent left the class yet LOL then all of us controlled out laughter LOL!
It was damn failed coz our plan was tht we were supposed to wish her happy april fools day but she wished us 1st instead! haiz hope nxt yr will succeed!
Later in maths lesson found out students frm dunno hw many years ago also do the exact same trick frm miss zeng, who was also an rvian! Wah realy, great minds think alike :D
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I COULD HAVE DIED JUST NOW!
So frm 9.30-10.30pm(27/3) was earth hour yay everyone did their part to help the earth, including me. So other than tht, nth special was gonna happen on this faithful night D: But little did I know tht on this same night, I could have died at about 11.45pm! Something really sick happened!
It all started last last night(26/3). my dad had to fetch my sis home frm somewhr, thn actually my dad frm carpark saw somebody doing sth outside my house(4th floor, staircase house, thts y can see frm carpark), but soon tht guy went away b4 my father reached up. My father dunno anything, so thn my father after reaching the house noticed that on my sis' panties had dunno-what-its-called(semen?) on it.
So he told my whole family abt it. I still could laugh sia! Thn jus now my sis gt sth again my dad go fetch her home. It was almost the same time as ytd lol. thn she saw the guy outside my house AGAIN whn she climb up the stairs. He was half naked without his pants, jus with undergarments and singlet on. So she faster bang the door and scream. So thn i knew what happened , and since i was jus beside the door i faster chiong out and started chasing the guy. tht guy was running away frm me with his pants in his hands and in the undergarments sia WTH!
Thn the drama started LOL. So i was like chasing him up the stairs to 5th floor due to stupid impulsiveness， and carried on chasing without caring what could happen to me, or 奋不顾身地继续zui1(dunno why dun have the word zui). So while running running along the 5th floor coridor i kept shouting to my neighbours so in case i needed help, i could get it.
At the end of the corridor, i finally caught up with him(love my legs alot alot) and pushed him against the wall and then pulled his singlet towards me whn he tried to run away again till it ripped abit. Then i tried to keep him down, but very very difficult coz he was taller and bigger than me at the age of 26! i was super afraid at tht point coz i was seriously vulnerable to a punch frm his fist, and at the same time if he had weapons i would have been gone. Heng he dun have lol.
Luckily soon my dad and one of my 5th floor neighbours arrived(LUCKILY! THANKS ALOT!). My neighbour helped me and we finally succeeded in pinning him on the ground. At tht point of time, he started his 'sorries' and 'wont do it agains', but he was still struggling to break free for like 3-5 minutes. And let me remind u, he was still in an undergarment with his pants in his hands! So soon we talked to him about how he would be helped coz if he dun stop now he would do much more sick stuff then this(if it was still not sick enough eww)! Then he sort of relaxed abit as he knew he could no longer escape. Thn after tht he asked whether he could wear his pants! -.- So let him wear and let him sit freely by himself while we stood around surrounding him.
Soon the police came, thn one police talked to him, asked him exactly what he did, all tht. I still rmb the way he said the word masturbate with a giggle zzzz! Wah thn found out he wore my sis' panties to masturbate wth! And he was still in it till tht point of time EWWW tht is super disgusting! The worst is he works as a cook in some restaurant in yew tee eeeeyer! So i went back home thn thought about what could have happened to me if it was another far more dangerous guy instead. So after taking everyone involved the statements thn finish alrdy lol. Thn after my sis realised tht guy was still wearing my sis' undergarments, i told her nt to worry, coz she could have it back after the police were done with their investigations LOL. OH YA BACK AT HOME I HAD TO BATHE A SECOND TIME IN THE SAME NIGHT AGAIN FOR THE 1ST TIME SINCE DUNNO WHEN BECAUSE I TOUCHED HIS HANDS ALOT ALOT ZZZZZ!
I realised tht living in a HDB quite lucky coz neighbours can help in times of crises haha! And nxt time cannot gey kiang(act pro) go chase dangerous ppl if not i die how will my parents react sia, although i felt very gd after succeeding in catching tht guy. hmm see how la if im lucky or unlucky enough to experience this again thn i shall decide again whether i shld chase the guy or not :)
Go sleep alrdy!
It all started last last night(26/3). my dad had to fetch my sis home frm somewhr, thn actually my dad frm carpark saw somebody doing sth outside my house(4th floor, staircase house, thts y can see frm carpark), but soon tht guy went away b4 my father reached up. My father dunno anything, so thn my father after reaching the house noticed that on my sis' panties had dunno-what-its-called(semen?) on it.
So he told my whole family abt it. I still could laugh sia! Thn jus now my sis gt sth again my dad go fetch her home. It was almost the same time as ytd lol. thn she saw the guy outside my house AGAIN whn she climb up the stairs. He was half naked without his pants, jus with undergarments and singlet on. So she faster bang the door and scream. So thn i knew what happened , and since i was jus beside the door i faster chiong out and started chasing the guy. tht guy was running away frm me with his pants in his hands and in the undergarments sia WTH!
Thn the drama started LOL. So i was like chasing him up the stairs to 5th floor due to stupid impulsiveness， and carried on chasing without caring what could happen to me, or 奋不顾身地继续zui1(dunno why dun have the word zui). So while running running along the 5th floor coridor i kept shouting to my neighbours so in case i needed help, i could get it.
At the end of the corridor, i finally caught up with him(love my legs alot alot) and pushed him against the wall and then pulled his singlet towards me whn he tried to run away again till it ripped abit. Then i tried to keep him down, but very very difficult coz he was taller and bigger than me at the age of 26! i was super afraid at tht point coz i was seriously vulnerable to a punch frm his fist, and at the same time if he had weapons i would have been gone. Heng he dun have lol.
Luckily soon my dad and one of my 5th floor neighbours arrived(LUCKILY! THANKS ALOT!). My neighbour helped me and we finally succeeded in pinning him on the ground. At tht point of time, he started his 'sorries' and 'wont do it agains', but he was still struggling to break free for like 3-5 minutes. And let me remind u, he was still in an undergarment with his pants in his hands! So soon we talked to him about how he would be helped coz if he dun stop now he would do much more sick stuff then this(if it was still not sick enough eww)! Then he sort of relaxed abit as he knew he could no longer escape. Thn after tht he asked whether he could wear his pants! -.- So let him wear and let him sit freely by himself while we stood around surrounding him.
Soon the police came, thn one police talked to him, asked him exactly what he did, all tht. I still rmb the way he said the word masturbate with a giggle zzzz! Wah thn found out he wore my sis' panties to masturbate wth! And he was still in it till tht point of time EWWW tht is super disgusting! The worst is he works as a cook in some restaurant in yew tee eeeeyer! So i went back home thn thought about what could have happened to me if it was another far more dangerous guy instead. So after taking everyone involved the statements thn finish alrdy lol. Thn after my sis realised tht guy was still wearing my sis' undergarments, i told her nt to worry, coz she could have it back after the police were done with their investigations LOL. OH YA BACK AT HOME I HAD TO BATHE A SECOND TIME IN THE SAME NIGHT AGAIN FOR THE 1ST TIME SINCE DUNNO WHEN BECAUSE I TOUCHED HIS HANDS ALOT ALOT ZZZZZ!
I realised tht living in a HDB quite lucky coz neighbours can help in times of crises haha! And nxt time cannot gey kiang(act pro) go chase dangerous ppl if not i die how will my parents react sia, although i felt very gd after succeeding in catching tht guy. hmm see how la if im lucky or unlucky enough to experience this again thn i shall decide again whether i shld chase the guy or not :)
Go sleep alrdy!
Monday, March 15, 2010
student ldrs camp!
yes yes yes cant wait! tmr start alrdy, frm tuesday to thursday yes! haha now i feel so excited skali the camp super boring LOL! Nah hope it will be fun!
Go sleep le byebye!
Go sleep le byebye!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
NATIONALS!
Ytd was the start of nationals for the boys. Haiz we lost to dunman high sch 3-2. We could win it la, but somebody play badminton too much le in the morning zz. aiya nvm la lose then lose, what matters is the experience XD. We met our frens frm west zone again lol, talk talk haha.
And haha thrs this nanhua boy his name is QINNAN (claimed to be a so-called descendant of qin shi huang ==).He done ask west-zoners proud by winning the 1st 2 sets against a china boy/man frm st joseph institution! Although in the end he lost(T.T), it was still a great achievement and i hope future west-zoners will aspire to be like him, not just aspire to be like me(NO LA JK!).
Anyway tmr us b boys will face sports sch and c boys will face either victoria sec or raffles institution. JY guys!
Today quite fun! during chinese lesson we were given arnd 10min to prepare something tht we can talk to barrack obama about, or ask him qns in an event tht we actually see him..in chinese! So we had to take turns lo. soon it was my turn, bt i nvr prepare yet! luckily, being an observant chaiperson, i realised it was PE lesson alrdy lol, so i stood up, faced the tchr and said in chinese: mr obama, it is time for PE now, so we need to go. HAHA luckily mdm lam wan nvr ask me say what ive prepared(which is nothing) before we go for PE.
And then 10min of champs lessons was wow, BGR -.- Then a few of us boys like admitting they have relationship with another boy LOL. Coz BGR stands for boy-gay relationship haha.
march hols coming, yes! cant wait for the ldrs camp XD
And haha thrs this nanhua boy his name is QINNAN (claimed to be a so-called descendant of qin shi huang ==).He done ask west-zoners proud by winning the 1st 2 sets against a china boy/man frm st joseph institution! Although in the end he lost(T.T), it was still a great achievement and i hope future west-zoners will aspire to be like him, not just aspire to be like me(NO LA JK!).
Anyway tmr us b boys will face sports sch and c boys will face either victoria sec or raffles institution. JY guys!
Today quite fun! during chinese lesson we were given arnd 10min to prepare something tht we can talk to barrack obama about, or ask him qns in an event tht we actually see him..in chinese! So we had to take turns lo. soon it was my turn, bt i nvr prepare yet! luckily, being an observant chaiperson, i realised it was PE lesson alrdy lol, so i stood up, faced the tchr and said in chinese: mr obama, it is time for PE now, so we need to go. HAHA luckily mdm lam wan nvr ask me say what ive prepared(which is nothing) before we go for PE.
And then 10min of champs lessons was wow, BGR -.- Then a few of us boys like admitting they have relationship with another boy LOL. Coz BGR stands for boy-gay relationship haha.
march hols coming, yes! cant wait for the ldrs camp XD
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
MARCH ALREADY!
Hello so fast march already! 3/4 left to the year zzz time flies.
Today at school, we had the reactants - normal boring lessons and the ultra hot-humid atmosphere...with a tired raimie as the catalyst. So i shall attempt to write the chemical reaction including state symbols.
NBL(aq) + UHA(g) ---in the presence of TR----> DDM(aq) = SD(aq)
DDM is the chemical symbol of daydreaming.
SD is the chemical symbol of sweetdreams.
However this equation miraculously did not stand during champs lesson...weird! :P
Haiz when will this end?
But something cool happened today! I improved my 2.4km timing to 9:44min! Super cool haha thanks to teng foong for pacing me(he even slowed down at the 4/5th round so i could catch up!) if not very hard to get this time haha!
Champs lesson not bad, quite fun, the funnest lesson today! play with eggs and dropping them haha! Had to protect the egg thn we drop them off frm 3rd floor see whether the egg break or not. The funniest was when one of the grps(sorry forgt who so pro le haha) the protection of the egg still gt parachute+propeller+wings on it, but in the end parachute nvr work, propeller nvr turn, and wings nvr flap sia! So the egg broke haha...not insulting u guys, just sharing some stuff (: dun be angry!
After sch did OM thn gt soccer match between rvhs and some international school sia!
Watched with jerian lol. Wah i still rmb before the match me and jerian were like saying our sch soccer tema lousy blah blah blah. Shld be like this:
"Wah u compare the size and physique of the players of the 2 schs, the winner quite obvious," Jerian commented with a grin.
"Ya lor, eh wan watch for 5min see whether the international school can score or not in 5min," Raimie mocked.
"Okay la, u see the faces of the people of the schools, can tell who win already!" Jerian exclaimed.
"Haha yeah, also no malays playing for our sch, how to win." Raimie was certain.
HOWEVER in the end after watching the 1st half, our sch was leading 1-0! haha after this incident, i learnt tht our sch soccer team has improved a lot, and we(me and jerian) will learn to be more supportive in the future (:
Today at school, we had the reactants - normal boring lessons and the ultra hot-humid atmosphere...with a tired raimie as the catalyst. So i shall attempt to write the chemical reaction including state symbols.
NBL(aq) + UHA(g) ---in the presence of TR----> DDM(aq) = SD(aq)
DDM is the chemical symbol of daydreaming.
SD is the chemical symbol of sweetdreams.
However this equation miraculously did not stand during champs lesson...weird! :P
Haiz when will this end?
But something cool happened today! I improved my 2.4km timing to 9:44min! Super cool haha thanks to teng foong for pacing me(he even slowed down at the 4/5th round so i could catch up!) if not very hard to get this time haha!
Champs lesson not bad, quite fun, the funnest lesson today! play with eggs and dropping them haha! Had to protect the egg thn we drop them off frm 3rd floor see whether the egg break or not. The funniest was when one of the grps(sorry forgt who so pro le haha) the protection of the egg still gt parachute+propeller+wings on it, but in the end parachute nvr work, propeller nvr turn, and wings nvr flap sia! So the egg broke haha...not insulting u guys, just sharing some stuff (: dun be angry!
After sch did OM thn gt soccer match between rvhs and some international school sia!
Watched with jerian lol. Wah i still rmb before the match me and jerian were like saying our sch soccer tema lousy blah blah blah. Shld be like this:
"Wah u compare the size and physique of the players of the 2 schs, the winner quite obvious," Jerian commented with a grin.
"Ya lor, eh wan watch for 5min see whether the international school can score or not in 5min," Raimie mocked.
"Okay la, u see the faces of the people of the schools, can tell who win already!" Jerian exclaimed.
"Haha yeah, also no malays playing for our sch, how to win." Raimie was certain.
HOWEVER in the end after watching the 1st half, our sch was leading 1-0! haha after this incident, i learnt tht our sch soccer team has improved a lot, and we(me and jerian) will learn to be more supportive in the future (:
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